The Bohemians See New Moon
by iNvIsIbLe GiRl 12
Summary: My long-awaited sequel to "The Bohemians Watch Twilight!" It's opening day for New Moon and our favorite Bohos are ready to share in the festivities! What sort of dramam shall ensue this time? REVIEW!


**A/N: HERE IT IS! The long-awaited sequel to "The Bohemians Watch Twilight!"**

**Ok, I have to admit, I still don't like Twilight, but the visuals were MUCH better in this one. Wolves were awesome…and Jamie Campbell Bower as Caius! All I could think was Sweeney Todd…**

**Anyway, so this is sort of based off of my real movie experiences. My sister literally screamed every time Jacob came on screen, she cheered throughout the whole thing. And the part when the lady tells Maureen that her 9 year old behaves better than her really happened last weekend when I saw The Blind Side (EXCELLENT MOVIE! GO SEE IT!) I had to take my sister and her friends and they were kicking this lady's chair and she really turned around and told them that.**

***Dedicated to my Twilight buddies and to JONATHAN LARSON ON THE 14th ANNIVERSARY OF HIS DEATH! WE LOVE YOU JON! THANKS SOOO MUCH! NO DAY BUT TODAY!***

**Lol…Well, this is long….ENJOY! REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT and I don't own the Twilight saga…yep…that's about it…**

It was a bright, sunny morning on Avenue B as Mark woke up happily. He took in a deep breath of polluted New York City air and though to himself, _I'm gonna do something productive today…_

So he ran out of his room only to be greeted by Mimi and Angel who were squealing like little girls.

"Are you guys ok?" he asked them, eyeing their shirts. Mimi wore a tight-fitting Edward Cullen shirt with a hat that said TEAM EDWARD while Angel was wearing a Jacob Black shirt with a hat that said TEAM JACOB.

"Oh God, no! NOOOO!"

Roger, who was asleep on the couch woke up at the sound of Mark's screams. "Mark, what the hell is going on-OH MY GOD!"

He stared evilly at the picture of Edward on Mimi's shirt. "You!"

"Roger….it's a shirt…" She said sarcastically, still jittery from all the excitement.

"But guess what we're doing today!" Angel squealed happily.

"Please tell me we're doing something that doesn't involve vampires in any way, shape, or form…" Mark and Roger pleaded.

"WE'RE GOING TO SEE NEW MOON!" Both girls shouted gleefully before bursting out into their squeals again.

"Oh, just kill me now…" Roger complained.

"Ok!" A voice came from the door. It was Maureen, who was quickly followed by Joanne. They both wore shirts with the wolf pack on it. And Mark could see, on the back, it read "I RUN WITH THE WOLVES."

"Omigod! NEW MOON!" Maureen shouted happily.

"Omigod, I know!" The other three girls responded.

Soon, Collins had entered the room. "Quick! Before they get here! BOARD UP YOUR LOFT! IT'S TWILIGHT SEASON!" But then he stopped and took into account that his crazed and obsessed Twilight friends were already there.

"Well, since we're all here, we should make our way down to the theater!" Mimi suggested.

"What about Benny?" Mark asked. "Isn't he gonna suffer-I mean- watch the movie with us?"

"Nah…" Maureen replied. "Benny's got _work…"_

"I wish I was employed…" Roger muttered.

Bu before they knew it, the girls were all dragging their Boho boys down to the local movie theater.

* * *

The theater was packed except for, conveniently, a row of seven free seats in the back row. The girls raced up to take their seats while Mark, Roger, and Collins took their time.

Maureen and Angel were shouting loudly. "WHOOO! NEW MOON! JACOB BLACK!"

While Joanne and Mimi were shouting, "WHOOOO! EDWARD CULLEN! VEGGIE VAMPIRES RULE!"

As the guys took their seats, Mimi hit Roger and said, "C'mon! Make some noise!"

"Uh…Yay?"

"Good enough!"

The theater got dark as the previews started.

"BOOOOO! SKIP THE PREVIEWS!" Maureen shouted. She soon got all the girls in the theater to start a chant, "WE WANT NEW MOON! WE WANT NEW MOON!"

Slightly intimidated, the guy working the projector skipped right ahead to the movie.

It began with a scene of Bella and Edward running through a meadow.

"What the hell?" Mark asked. "I thought this was New Moon?"

"SHHHH!" Mimi scolded.

Then, Edward was flirting with an old lady. Mark shuddered as their lips met. The next few scenes were pointless to the plot and made no real sense to Mark, Roger, or Collins who never read the books.

"Is it over yet?" Collins complained.

The next scene was the infamous birthday scene. Bella's finger was bleeding from a paper cut.

"Can paper cuts even bleed that much?" Roger asked Collins.

"I dunno…I don't have any paper cuts…"

The Jasper got thrown into a piano.

"Holy crap…" Mark cringed. "That's gotta hurt…"

"WHY DOES NO ONE HELP JASPER?!" Joanne shouted angrily. "HE'S JUST AS IMPORTANT AS BELLA!"

"Shut up, Joanne!" Maureen yelled back. "Carlisle will make everything better!"

"Maureen!" Angel gasped, taken aback slightly. "YOU BLOODSUCKING TRAITOR! YOU ARE NO LONGER A MEMBER OF MY WOLF PACK!"

A lady in front of them turned around and scolded, "You're gonna get kicked out! My 9-year-old behaves better than you!"

Maureen angrily retorted, "Yeah, well your nine-year-old can kiss my-!"

"BELLA AND EDWARD KISSED!" Mimi shouted angrily. "THAT'S MY MAN!"

"I LOATHE YOU EDWARD CULLEN!" Roger yelled at the screen. "NO ONE STEALS MY GIRL!"

"Bella's a cougar…" Collins whispered to Mark, who started snickering.

"What are you laughing at?" Angel asked.

"Nothing…nothing…" Mark said, still giggling.

"What?! What's so funny?!"

"It's nothing, Ang, relax…" Collins replied, trying to calm her down.

"IT'S CUZ I'M WEARING A SKIRT, ISN'T IT? YOU ALL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!" Angel angrily yelled at everyone in the theater. "WELL FUCK THIS, BITCHES!"

Everyone stared at Angel.

"Ummm…Ang? We were talking about the movie…" Collins said, rather stunned.

"Oh." She said, blushing. "Ok! Never mind! HOLY CRAP JACOB'S TAKING HIS SHIRT OFF!"

"WHOOOOO! YEAH!!! WHOOO!"

All the girls' eyes were stuck on Jacob's rock hard abs.

"He's so dreamy…" Angel sighed.

"Yeah…he is…" Joanne agreed quickly.

"I wish Roger looked like that…" Mimi commented.

"I wonder how old he is? Is he available?" Maureen asked.

"God, Maureen, you can't just ask someone if Jacob Black is available." Joanne scolded.

"He's so sexy, though…."

Mark grumbled. "I still want his body…"

* * *

Bella and Jessica were walking out of the movie theater.

"Oh my God!" Roger whispered. "It's creepy biker guys…"

Bella started to walk towards them.

"No, you idiot! Don't walk towards them!"

She started to turn around.

"Good job Bella!" Collins cheered.

Then she turned back to the bikers and got on the biker's bike.

"No!" Mark yelled. "You're so stupid Bella!"

"KIDNAPPER! HE'S A KIDNAPPER!" Roger screamed.

Then Bella went back.

"This movie is so inaccurate…" Collins complained. "Dude, if this was real life, she would've never been seen again…"

"Shut UP, Collins!" Mimi yelled, watching the film carefully.

* * *

Bella was now about to throw herself over a cliff.

"Shit…Bella's suicidal…" Mark commented.

"Don't jump, Bella! Don't jump!" Angel shouted, covering her eyes.

"April…" was all Roger could say, as tears welled up in his eyes.

Then…Bella jumped.

"Ouch…" Collins, said, turning away.

"I MISS APRIL!" Roger cried.

Mark then hit Maureen.

"Ow! What did I do, Marky?"

"You knew that she jumped off a cliff! Roger is sensitive around suicide, heartless ex!"

Then Roger began to bawl his eyes out loudly, annoying everyone.

* * *

Alice and Bella were in Voltura, looking for Edward.

"This movie is full of suicide, isn't it?" Mark asked Joanne, who was the only one not drooling over Jacob.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Roger had finally stopped crying as they reached the town square.

"Run! Run, Bella run!" Mimi screamed. "SAVE EDWARD!"

And Bella began to run spastically through a fountain.

Collins was laughing his ass off. "It looks like Mark in gym class!"

Roger and Maureen laughed too and imitated his arms flailing when he ran.

Mark yelled, "STOP IT! I'M NOT A SPAZ!"

"OH MY GOD!" Maureen shouted. "IT'S ARO!"

And in fact, Bella found Edward and were meeting the Volturi.

"Who's that blond chick?" Roger asked.

"That's a man, Roger." Mimi scoffed.

"Oooohhhh…"

"Is that _Dakota Fanning?"_ Mark asked surprisingly.

"Yeah…look at her…" Angel commented. "That dress does _not_ match her eyes…"

"Isn't this awesome, Joanne?" Maureen asked, giddy with excitement. "Joanne?"

Joanne snapped back. "Oh. Sorry. I was reading the Latin on the ceiling…I've got 'yes, it is…something…'"

Maureen rolled her eyes as onscreen Alice told Aro that Bella was gonna be turned into a vampire eventually.

"Bella would be the weirdest vampire ever…" Roger stated.

"Totally agree…" Mark agreed.

* * *

When Bella and Edward got home safe, Edward stood with her in the woods…where half of the movie took place.

"_Marry me…"_ he said. Then…credits.

"WHAT?!" Maureen, Joanne, Angel, and Mimi screamed.

"THAT'S SO UNFAIR!" Roger shouted as well.

"WHY END IT LIKE _THAT?!"_ Mark yelled.

"I thought it was stupid…" Collins added.

"GASP!" The rest of them gasped.

"The visuals were WAY better!" Mark said.

"It hit me right here!" Roger said, pointing to his heart.

"It's so romantic…" Mimi and Joanne sighed.

"JACOB'S SEXY!" Maureen and Angel shouted.

As they were walking out of the theater, Mimi couldn't help but to notice Roger and Mark's reactions.

"So you guys liked it?"

"Yeah…I guess…" they both answered.

"It was good!" Maureen cheered.

"I can't WAIT for Eclipse!" Angel shouted.

"I hears it's coming out this summer…" Joanne stated.

They all shrugged and walked until they found the cab they wanted.

But all of the sudden, Maureen shouted, "Hey, maybe next week we can take Benny!"

The guys all groaned…_Here we go again…_

**A/N: Well, what did you think? It's more detailed this time…I won't be writing an Eclipse one until next summer after I see the movie…in the meantime…REVIEW! REVIEW!**


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